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The person I’m going out with now, that’s been a couple of years, and what we did, well wed been very good friends for a long time before we ever sort of had a more serious relationship. So we agreed that until we had both been to the STD clinic and been absolutely cleared, that we would use condoms, even though we both hated them. And then after that we went back to using the pill, once we both had a clear certificate of health.

We just thought that this is what wed hoped was going to be a very important relationship and we hoped to stay together. And we wanted to make sure we did it right, from the beginning, and didn’t sort of give the other one anything horrible that we had from our past. Wed never felt comfortable enough to sort of broach that sort of subject with anyone before.

He was the first person that I sort of felt comfortable enough to say ‘actually, I’d rather you went and got tested.

I think it was because I’d had a scare with someone previously who I had a relationship with and wed relied on the pill and after we split up I had a lot of low abdominal pain, there was no discharge or anything else like that, but I was scared enough to go and get tested and everything. And there wasn’t anything, actually it was fine and they decided it was sort of stress.

I thought I had Chlamydia or something, I really did. I was really quite scared that I’d done something very stupid.

Do you feel at risk or not at risk of a sexually transmitted infection?

Definitely at risk.

Why because you have had unprotected sex?

Yeah, in being a gay male I think you are more at risk if you have, if you have casual partners as well and you don’t know where other people have been, if they have gone cruising in parks or, you never know what you’re gonna pick up, so the best way I suppose is to use protection to be safe.

So why do you say gay people are more at risk?

Because a lot of people are frightened of coming out, or having relationships, or a lot of, a lot of gay people are, that are not out, have wives and kids and then they go to toilets or parks to have sex with different partners. And they do it, some people do it every day, some people do it, you know, twice a week, three times a week and have sex with their wife as well, so the different sexual partners they have, you could catch anything, you know, crabs, all sorts.

Yes I felt a lump inside me and it was especially uncomfortable when I used a tampon, I could feel it there and it was slightly uncomfortable and I’d been watching ‘Embarrassing Bodies’ which I found are very interesting, sort of, I like medical documentaries, I find it very interesting and so I felt where it was and I felt that doesn’t feel normal to me. I didn’t think it was normal. So I went to a GUM clinic to check which was a slightly interesting experience as I’d only gone in there for a lump and I got questioned about my entire sexual history which took you know, a good ten min, a good ten minutes with the two people in the world I’ve had sex with but they wanted to know what time each relationship started and ended and how long have you been sexually active, what protection had I used and everything. Finally we got to the examination room and they told me it was just my cervix and drew me a picture of why it felt so weird and then tested me for all the STI’s. So they just inserted a swab into my cervix, one swab, about ten seconds in there, that was it and then took a tiny bit of blood to test for HIV. And they sent me a text, two of my test results saying, "All your test results came back clean." And then handed me a bag of free condoms and I went on my way.

Can you tell me, you have come for tests, you had your tests done?

Yeah.

And they were all clear?

All clear.

And you were tested for everything?

Yeah. Well I’ve only, yeah I was tested for everything, but I’m waiting for the HIV results. It was offered so I just took it.

OK, but I mean what was your main motivation to come and be tested?

Well my motivation was like I came to England only ten months ago and since I’ve been in England I have had quite a bit of sex with different women. And I didn’t think I had anything, but it’s just for a peace of mind, just to feel more relaxed about it, and just to get a test done.

And on those occasions have you used protection or not?

Yeah, only like just, as I say just maybe once or twice I haven’t there hasn’t been any with us and you just feel comfortable in that situation so you just go for it.

Can you tell me what prompted you to decide to be tested?

One of my friends caught Chlamydia from her boyfriend who had slept with someone else behind her back and she didn’t realise she had it until quite late on and I suppose that prompted me and a couple of my friends who’ve had a few sexual partners, to go and be tested and things even though they didn’t really think there was a risk.

Just come and be tested to make sure, because Chlamydia can make you infertile and we hadn’t thought about it before until she had said and wed seen how upset she was and things like that, so I suppose her experience prompted us to do it.

So do you feel at risk or not at risk of a STI?

I don’t feel at risk now, no.

Why not?

Because I’ve been tested and because I know that if I had a new sexual partner I would use a condom and things like that.

If I thought that there was any risk, if I knew that they’d been with someone else and they had had unprotected sex then yeah, definitely I would say that I wanted them to be tested and I’d probably withhold from sex until they were really.

My Chlamydia test was very, very spur of the moment because I’d seen when I was around at college because I went to a 6th Form college there were people like saying, Come do the Chlamydia test now. And surrounded by all of those people at college I just didn’t want to like go into the bathrooms and pee in a tub and then give it to someone in front of everybody but…

So my Chlamydia test was very odd because I was sitting in a park with a few of my friends and two people actually approached us and were talking to the girls and said, Do any of you want to go get this Chlamydia test done?’ And me and two of my friends were just sitting there and we thought, well why not. We’re here and we want to make sure we don’t have Chlamydia so we basically just filled in some forms. Took the tub and went to the nearby pub that was around the corner and filled the tubs, came back and [ha] gave them it. And them literally the forms we filled in just gave like names, details, all of that stuff and then a couple of weeks later, about 3 weeks later I think it was I just got a text on my mobile. I got two texts saying I’m clear and the test was negative. So it was pretty easy experience to be honest.

Ok and who were these two people?

They were two of my college friends both the same age as me so I was 17 and they were 17 and 18. And we were all doing the same course together and just hanging out and yeah we just got approached and thought, why not.

But the people that approached all of you, who were they?

I don’t know. I assumed they worked for the NHS. They had little NHS badges and things like that so nurses I should think. Two women, yeah, two middle-aged women just came up and were speaking to us just saying, Do you want to get the Chlamydia test. it’s really easy. All you have to do is go to the local pub and go to the toilets and then come back in 10 minutes or less depending on how quick you are.

And at college could you explain a bit more about when people were doing it, did you have to go to the toilet and where everybody was peeing into these little cups and that was not something that you wanted to do?

No that was a lot more uncomfortable. Like in a pub because it’s like, it was really noisy at the time so and nobody knew what you were there to do so you just walked in as if you were going to the loo and then came out again. Well when you’re at college everybody knew that it was the week that the sexual health people were in and that it was the week that they were doing the Chlamydia testing. So if anybody saw you walk into a toilet like trying to hide something in your bag they’d know exactly why you were there.

Ok [laugh].

[Laugh] so it’s just things like people staring at you going, Oh god she’s gone for the Chlamydia test. Who’s she been sleeping with?’

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What led you to be scared of Aids, you were presenting some signs or symptoms?

It was, no, no it was a bloke I was going out with at the time, wed been going out for quite a while and wed been, well at first we were using condoms and then I went on the pill, we hadn’t got tested for things which I know is a bit silly but you kind of, you know just presume.

I don’t know, I just kind of, when you’ve been seeing someone for a while you start presuming, and I don’t think that’s really the case. And then he found out that a girl hed slept with, a couple of years before wed started seeing each other, was HIV positive. And he didn’t know because hed found out through a friend of hers, she didn’t tell him so he didn’t know whether she had Aids, I mean she might not have even known whether she had Aids when’ or HIV, at the time.

But he knew that she was HIV positive now and so wasn’t sure if she might’ve been then, and they hadn’t used any contraception. So he tried not to tell me, he tried to go and get tested without telling me but I thought he was being a bit funny and I ended up getting in a bad mood with him, so he had to tell me.

And then we went and got tested together. I remember it seemed to take quite a while, it took about three or four days because it was the weekend and we couldn’t find anywhere to get a test at the weekend. But eventually we did, and it all came back and it was all absolutely fine, we were both fine.

But that was quite scary and it kind of made me realise I’ve got to be a bit more sensible. I mean like hes twenty eight, hes quite a bit older, so well it’s kind of, he obviously has a bit more experience and probably should have, I don’t know’ been aware of that.

I think the first time that I felt the problem it was the day after my sixteenth birthday. I had a pain and I went toilet and it was really, really stinging. So, I didn’t pay too much attention because I thought it wasn’t that bad, and then the following day I was going on holiday I was going with my family to Cyprus, and then I noticed on the plane, when I went to the toilet, that the stinging got really bad every time I went to the toilet. And then, when I got to the holiday, now, that’s when I think it completely – the blisters really got big. Because then I couldn’t walk, I couldn’t do anything. I was laid up for, for the first week of my holiday. And I had a cousin with me, and then I confided in her, “I think I might have a problem”, and we went to the chemist over there and we tried to get creams and then to try and stop the stinging, but I knew that there was a problem.
Where exactly was the blister?
It was on – it was on my vagina, but it was on the lip part of the vagina and it looked – it looked like, when I was looking in the mirror it looked like a big -someone had cut me. So that’s the excuse I gave to my mum, when she wondered why I couldn’t walk, why I wasn’t coming down to the pool, or why I was in bed all day. I just said I cut myself with my fingernails.

She was the only one who knew. I didn’t tell my mum, but it was really strange, because when we was on holiday and we was all sitting talking, she brought up about her friend who – whose husband had given her genital herpes, and she was saying how she couldn’t walk and everything. And me and my cousin was kind of giving each other the eye, like “Oh my God, is she hinting or something”? but she didn’t relate anything to me, so I just kept it between me and my cousin, then, but now a lot more people know. Because it’s something that I wouldn’t say I’m ashamed of, but of course you’re choosy about who you tell because some people are very small minded, and they’d just be – they’d think you’re this really nasty person, when I’m not.
Was your cousin supportive?
Yeah, she was at the time, she was. Yeah, I mean, no-one came with me to the clinic or anything, but she was. If she wasn’t there it would have been a lot harder, because we would sit down and think of excuses to tell my mum, and just – yeah – yeah she was supportive.

When you were tested for Chlamydia you asked him [partner] to go to the clinic with you or?

No we both went separately actually but he was one of the people I knew that was going and I just thought it was only fair that I do as well.

You were together at that time?

But yes, yeah. It, it was for no particular reason. It was just because we are both really confident but television is making everyone a bit more aware about it and. Because we knew we wanted to spend the rest of our lives together we thought, Why not start out with a clean slat, really. So we know for sure and just made us feel 100% certain that we were fine.

It was at university and I think someone put up a sign and a member of the group started talking about it and some people expressed their concerns about doing it and others were saying Well who had been, talked about their experiences and we kind of rallied together and agreed to do it together which I think makes it easier. And I think the adverts, I think that’s the key thing. They are breaking the taboo. They are making people talk about it especially the campaign on the television about, I think, people talking in those clouds.A lot of television programmes now like I mentioned the Channel 4 programme, they went into a nightclub and tested 5 people at random, 5 guys, 5 girls and said. They all thought they would be clean and a few of them weren’t. And it does make you go, Wow. So I think people just need to talk about it more. And not be afraid.

When I went in for the pill they asked if I wanted to do like a Chlamydia test or anything like that because I’d obviously never had one before and I think they were quite informative. But then again, I think you only hear about Chlamydia. I think there’s very little information or general information on the other STIs. So I think Chlamydia is definitely the most well known.

I think there should be more publicity about everything else.

Okay.

It is known that Chlamydia is sort of the number one STI but I think they shouldn’t I think everything else should be out there as well because people because some people they have the one Chlamydia test whereas I think everyone should just do the whole, go to the, the clinic and get the whole test done because.

Carry on.

Well because I think if you just do that one Chlamydia test it’s unlikely but you never know you could you could have AIDS or syphilis or anything like that which you need a blood test for. So I just think there’s no point just doing one. I think you should do all of them but then but then I think there needs to be more information about all of them to make more people go because otherwise people they don’t go for anything else.

Do you have any ideas how they should they could reach young people and give this information?

I suppose leaflets then. I suppose at the university it’s quite good because you do a lot of there’s a lot of leaflets handing out. In the university they’re quite good at information but then again I think schools should have more on it as well.

So would you say that perhaps testing, having regular tests is, is a good idea?

Yeah, definitely. I think once you’ve been. I think your first time is very scary and you don’t really know what’s going to happen but after your first time I mean I don’t think you should have any problems with going again. I certainly wouldn’t now. I definitely think it’s a good idea. Even if there is no particular reason why you’re going it’s a just a good idea just to go just to have peace of mind and just to be careful.

If a young person said, “What message have you got for me about all this?”
Well that it’s not – it’s not a bad thing you know, you don’t feel ashamed about having it on your lip so why should it be any different? If anything, it’s a thing, where, you know, if you’ve got it on your lips young people are ignorant in the sense that they would be like, “She does this, she does that”. So it’s really obvious. If you’ve got it there no-one doesn’t know anyway, so it’s a lot more – it’s a lot – in a sense its not better, but don’t feel in any way ashamed or dirty or anything, because it, it’s not that, it’s just an inconvenience. Same way you know if you get thrush – that’s an inconvenience, that’s what this is. Sometimes it just comes about for a couple of days and then it goes. If you learned that, it – this is what you’ve got, then just accept it, then it, I guarantee it won’t even count, so’

One thing I really hate, you know, you hear sexual health adverts and you read articles, and they like to put fear into young people about catching these things, but what they need to understand is that this fear leads to stigma and a lot of people – the way that they think, and it’s just, you know you think about it. I heard an advert once, about the ‘sex lottery’, and you get herpes. It’s like so what, you know, why make it into some big scary thing? If you give people the correct information, then they would know about it but they wouldn’t look down on other people who’s got it. Yeah, they wouldn’t look down on other people who’s got it, and that’s kind of the whole thing that I want to do now, is let people know that it’s not dirty, it’s not a bad thing that other people make it out to be. It’s not.