I think that if there is a if the maternity and neo-natal ward be a more organised they’d be working as one instead of a separate entity. That might be asking too much, I don’st know, but maternity obviously does their own thing; neo-natal unit does their own thing. So, neo-natal unit looks after the babies; maternity looks after the mum but they are together, so I think that has to be taken into account.

It’s just like when my baby was transferred they thought about my son; they haven’t given much thought about the mum. Or the logistics, or the family itself. So that needs I think that needs to be improved more.

It was difficult and I would say as I said we were lucky that my husband is self-employed. He can juggle work; he doesn’st have to be at a certain place at a certain time; he can sort of delay things somehow. He obviously still has to work. My in-laws live in-between us and the hospital, so they helped out with the driving. My daughter then used to go to nursery so that helped somehow. But it’s just obviously me seeing her I can only and she’s not allowed on certain times of the day in SCBU (Special Care Baby Unit); she’s only allowed an hour possibly; the visiting time is different for siblings. So, she can only come at a certain time of the day, and obviously that will have to impact on the time that my husband can take her.

And as well she’s a bit, ‘Why are we in here?’ Yeah, so it was difficult with the logistics. It was more difficult, it was I think it was more difficult for my husband because he was doing everything basically.

I was in hospital just caring for my son who was on special care, whilst my husband is caring for my daughter, doing the pick-ups, thinking ahead of driving to the hospital, or picking up my daughter from nursery and all that, and he’s obviously in charge of the house as well.

So, what yeah so it was difficult. And then when I got discharged that was became a bit more difficult easier in some ways that I was sleeping in my own bed but knowing that I’m 30 miles away from my son.

And did you feel your husband was included in the decision?

No, because he wasn’st with me, he was at home caring for my daughter. It was actually quite a rush. They decided to section me at about 4am. Yeah, so I phoned him and he wasn’st answering his phone. I’m thinking, ‘Why isn’st he answering; come on wake up,’ and he was actually bottle feeding my daughter then so he couldn’st answer the phone. So I phoned my in-laws instead “Can you go to our house.”

Yeah. And it must have been very different while an inpatient in thisin the second pregnancy monitoring your blood pressure because you did have you responsibilities with your baby.

Yeah

How did you manage that?

It was very difficult because obviously childcare is an issue. My husband’s working we are lucky that he’s self-employed; that he can manage his time easily, but if he was employed, that he has to work the set hours, but it was still difficult.

And we were lucky as well that my in-laws were nearby, that they can help out but obviously I couldn’st see my daughter; I wasn’st there. They come and visit me but very limited and I don’st want her to be in the hospital for a long time because I don’st want her to catch anything. So that was difficult.

I was in hospital for two weeks again. But during the two weeks’ time I was in and out of HDU. There was a point when they can’t control my blood pressure took me to HDU for one night. They kept an eye on me a bit more on HDU, there’s one to one, and then I think the next day blood pressure was stable, they decided me todecided for me to go back to the ward. So there’s a few scares that I had to go back down to HDU and thinking, ‘This is it, this is it.

But then blood pressure got controlled, went back to the ward , and then a couple of days later I had to go back down to HDU and yeah.

And the consultant came and said, “Now that you’sve reached 30 weeks I think this is the best time to get the baby out; we can’t control the blood pressure anymore. And we’ve reached 30 weeks, so we’ll just do it.” Mm and of course the baby’s stopped growing as well.

OK

Well the growth is slow, and I thought maybe that OK fine, if the baby’s in danger inside me. And we had because they were continuing with my CTG.

The heart rate dropped several times so they were concerned about that as well.

There are a few things that’s done not very well. Maybe because they’re familiar with me, there’s a few nurses who did say to me I would say they were very busy. They’d say to me, “Right, you’re a mum, you’re not a nurse, you stay where you are.” So that I didn’st appreciate that because I think I don’st know if they were expecting me to do the suctioning with this baby. Well, I wanted to suction my baby. I was asking because I could see that my baby was quite frothy and I was asking, “Oh do you mind suctioning my baby,” but she was so busy with a different baby, and I’d say, “Can I do it?” and she just said, “You’re a mum, stay where you are, I’ll” in that sort of tone.

Yeah, so there is that I can see now from a parent’s perspective of that there’s a boundary. You can’t just touch your baby whenever you want to; it’s sort of you have to ask permission, and you can’t just come and visit your baby whenever you want to. I mean we are parents can come any time but there are still that because the ward is on the second floor, the neo-natal unit is on the ground floor it’s a long walk if I have if I ask for a porter for a wheelchair it takes a while for them to arrive and I’m thinking, you know I’d rather I can do it now. So, there’s the hindrances; there’s and then when you get there there’s a boundary. They say, “Well I’ve just changed your baby’s nappy so baby’s just fallen, just you know asleep so let’s not disturb the baby,” and things like that. Which now in my present professional care that changed me a lot.

I was under the consultant care again and the midwifery care because of my history. And they obviously are monitoring me, and I think I went for my 30 week check-up and that’s when they detected again that my blood pressure was high actually not 30, because he was born 30 weeks 28 weeks.

Twenty eight yeah.

And they detected protein in my urine, and then they just basically the same thing as last time, that we have to keep you in.

Yeh

Well actually before that theyyeah theyI had to have a 24 hour blood pressure monitoring.

Mm OK

So they sent me home with the cuff that I had to keep on all the time, and then I had to bring it back the next day, and then they saw that the blood pressure was quite high all the time, and they decided to keep me at 28 weeks.

I was in hospital for two weeks again.

But during the two weeks’ time I was in and out of HDU. There was a point when they can’t control my blood pressure took me to HDU for one night. They kept an eye on me a bit more on HDU, there’s one to one, and then I think the next day blood pressure was stable, they decided me to decided for me to go back to the ward. So there’s a few scares that I had to go back down to HDU and thinking, ‘This is it, this is it.

But then blood pressure got controlled, went back to the ward , and then a couple of days later I had to go back down to HDU and yeah.

Mm. And what was the difference between the ward and HDU why are they different?

Ward is obviously it’s a bigger ward. There’s one midwife looks after six mums, whilst in HDU there’s one to one midwifery care.

OK. And so you would reach HDU and what would happen during that time?

It’ll be in one room I get connected to the a proper monitoring instead of they’re monitoring me every I’m all continuously being monitored. I’m continuously on CTG monitoring as well.

I was in a ward; I was there was one time I was in a postnatal ward and there’s obviously mums there whose had a baby, with their babies. And I don’st think it’s a good experience for parents who are scared that their baby come out early or might be well, mixed with mums whose had a well baby, healthy baby and thinking, ‘That might not happen to me.

Or being mixed with mums whose in labour and shouting and screaming and it wasthat wasI think that terrified me having a normal delivery.

I heard all the swear words and all the screaming and shouting and I thought, ‘I don’st want that,’ yeah.