I mean, I’m quite a calm person and, and I was quite calm for the whole, the whole thing and I didn’t really think about it too much. I kind of just got on with my life and, obviously, I gave up smoking and drinking and tea and coffee and, you know, didn’t eat all the things that you shouldn’t eat and that was general, really all, all I did.

How much did you smoke before you became pregnant?

I used to smoke, I wasn’t a heavy smoker, about 10, 15 a day. I’ve given up completely now, so.

So did you give up when you found out you were pregnant?

The day I found out I was pregnant I gave it up.

Tell me about that, was that hard?

No, it wasn’t because I’ve wanted to give up for ages and to actually have a reason to give up smoking was a good thing, definitely. And yeah, yeah, it was good because, obviously, I don’t smoke now either so it’s brilliant. And, and also giving up drinking, that was the hardest bit [laughing]. I mean you can have a glass of wine here and there but that’s, that’s it, so, that wasn’t too bad, really.

Before I became pregnant I used to smoke and drink a lot and when I found out I was pregnant it all stopped straight away. And it was, because I drank a lot as a student I used to think, well it was, almost, it was a good thing because it meant that I had to take control of my life, which I hadn’t done for years, and I did. And I just, and I found it amazing that I suddenly felt this new responsibility and I was capable of giving up smoking and of cutting my drinking down to a bare minimum. And in the early stages the thing that worried me the most, it was probably what, what damage I’d done by smoking and drinking through the first bit of the pregnancy, before I knew I was pregnant; what that would have done to the development of the child. And so I wanted to find out lots of information about how it might have affected him;

And, you know, theres been a whole thing this week about safe or non safe levels of alcohol during pregnancy, and it seems that everybody’s got an opinion about what’s good and what’s bad for pregnant women. And it is really hard to kind of read and understand exactly what the risks and benefits are. Because I have one friend who said, you know, that a glass of red wine every now and again actually thins the blood and reduces the chance of miscarriage. And you get a report out this week saying basically it’s – you know – you’re killing your baby, roughly, by having, you know, even smelling alcohol. And as it happens, I mean, I haven’t felt like alcohol at all. You know, the smell of it just puts me right off, but it is really, really difficult to feel secure about what you’re doing. And something else I notice, I actually kind of popped out, as it were, really early on, by week thirteen I had a visible bump and I was really breathless. And the books were saying that shouldn’t be happening for at least another three or four weeks yet, and I, I got quite anxious about that, because it’s my first pregnancy, and you know, everything’s a mystery. I was reading in one of the books, and suddenly it said, but about 50% of women experience breathlessness from about week twelve of pregnancy, and suddenly it was like, oh right, okay, I’m actually in the 50% not, you know, this strange freak – these strange freaky people who don’t suffer like that, at all. So it’s – you know – I – you know, I – my work is about providing clinical information to people, and making – helping people make informed decisions, but sometimes there is so much information around, and even credible information, you just don’t really know where to get the kind of precise advice from, to be honest.

So how do you decide what to believe and what not to believe?

It [sigh] it’s tricky. I think trusting your instincts is quite a good one. I just do not feel like drinking alcohol. The most I’ve had is a really, really weak Pimms. I mean, it was literally that much Pimms and, you know, a full glass of lemonade. And that’s all I’ve had, so, I suppose it’s about, in some ways, it’s about trusting your body about what it says you fancy. But also just cutting yourself some slack, that you know, you don’t get any prizes for being, kind of, the super mother of the year, you know. I think it’s about getting through the pregnancy, making sure you don’t get too tired, drinking plenty – I’ve never drunk so much water in my life, I’m always thirsty, always hungry, but trying to make sure that I’m eating apples and oranges, and not M&Ms, Twix bars and what have you. But then again, you know, having chips once a week because, sometimes that’s the only thing you really, really fancy. And I, you know, think a lot of pregnant women really beat themselves up about these kind of lifestyle issues. You know, lots of the books say you should be doing exercises and yoga, and all sorts of things. I mean I’m lucky if I’m awake by the time I get home [laughs]. So quite where you’re meant to get the energy to do all of these other things from I’m not sure really. So I think it is about just being, being gentle to yourself, really, and you know, I had two lovely walks over the weekend, which were great and I felt so much better for them, but that was probably the first time since I’ve been pregnant that I’ve fancied, you know, taking the dog for more than a walk round the block. So I think waiting until you’re ready for these things.

What else? Is there anything else that’s sort of happened so far that’s been an issue for you?

I suppose there – there was one. When I was first seen at the hospital that’s going to deliver my antenatal care, and I had my kind of roughly twelve week scan there, and I saw a midwife, and I also saw some medical staff, and initially it was a very sweet student doctor. And it was quite funny actually, because we went and sat down in a room, and we could hear him talking to the nurse outside, saying, “Right, What do I do? What do I do next?” It’s like, “You take her history”. “But shes already seen the midwife, shes already had her history taken”, and they were saying, “You’re a doctor, you do it again”, [laughs] so by the time he came in we were trying really hard not to laugh. But he was – no, he was charming and – my one question was that I’d, at that point, because I wasn’t quite twelve weeks, I was still taking my metformin [a drug to induce ovulation], and I wanted to check what this hospital’s policy was about me continuing, or discontinuing the drug, and he wasn’t sure about that, so he said hed go and talk to his – I presume it was his registrar, or equivalent, and after about five, ten minutes the registrar came back, and, you know, quickly reviewed my notes and was very I suppose dismissive actually, of the advice I’d been given about taking metformin, and said, “In this hospital we, we do things on a needs basis, and you’ve been fine so far, so you’ve no need to take it. We do things in an evidence based manner here”, kind of thing, which didn’t help because you go on the advice you’re given. So, and then [sigh] he, and this is going to sound awful but he was frankly clinically obese. He was a massive man, and he started referring to me as a larger mother, and going on about my weight, and it was just really hard to take from somebody who was frankly four times my size, and it was just really difficult. And I’d also lost a huge amount of weight over the last couple of years. I’m not, you know, thin by any stretch of the imagination, but I felt kind of quite comfortable about where I was, and that was quite hard. You know, partly you just felt, “Where do you get off telling me, you know, lecturing me?” You know, saying, “Well have to see you at thirty weeks because, you know, you’re on the larger side”, and all the rest of it.

What was his point?

Because allegedly – well, presumably – he said it’s very difficult to visualise the baby, so well need to check at thirty weeks that we can still see it clearly. Which seems quite strange really, because, you know, women far larger than me have had very successful pregnancies, so that was, that was the only kind of sour note, really, that it just, it was quite difficult. Because I suppose I’d had a lot of support from my fertility consultant, who understood how ha- one of the things about PCOS [polycystic ovary syndrome] is it’s really difficult to lose weight, because it alters your metabolism and, you know, it is really a struggle. But, you know, I had lost a lot of weight, so that felt quite hard.

And did you get any kind of advice or any support from family? I mean, you’ve mentioned your friends, but any family members who were particularly supportive?

Yeah, my sisters, and my Mum, yeah. Because my sisters are, they’ve all got like three kids each and they’re forever ringing me with advice, because obviously, Don’t eat this, don’t do this, don’t go for And Mum would say, Don’t go for long walks now, and don’t do this, don’t pick this, don’t carry this

What kind of things were they saying? Don’t eat what?

Eggs.

Right.

You know like warm, we call them warm things, and so it’s like

Hot foods.

Eggs and hot foods

Yeah, yeah.

And things like that, not to eat that. But having said that, I know some of it is just like old wives’ tales, You can’t eat this, you can’t eat tha, so I did get some information from the midwife as well, on what to do.

And what was the difference between what the midwife was saying and what your family was saying?

Well, she was saying more like mayonnaise and not anything with raw egg in it.

Right.

So if I say, Well, can I have whatever mayonnaise She goes, Well, you can, because that’s powdered egg, but you can’t have that one So it’s more, I suppose to explain more in detail the information about what you can and can’t eat. And then again I just got it from magazines as well.

Mmm, I suppose the midwife was talking about kind of salmonella and things like that?

Yeah, yeah.

Whereas the hot foods, can you say a bit more about what the thinking is behind that?

No [Laughs] I can’t really. You know, it’s something like that you’ve just sort of grown, [laughs] grown up with. Yeah, so I just, I really don’t even know that much at all. It’s just they said, Don’t eat warm food And I go, Okay So that’s your eggs.

Eggs?

Eggs, and honestly I can’t even remember because it just went over the top of my head and I was just going, Okay

So it’s warm, warm foods?

Foods.

Yeah, the idea is that they have a warm effect on your body. Or they heat up your body, so it’s a different kind of way of…

Yeah.

…thinking about it, but [laughs].

That’s all I know, and I was just going, Okay

[Laughs] And did you ignore that advice then?

Well no, because I don’t really eat eggs anyway, so [laughs] I wasn’t really, I wasn’t really bothered, actually. So, because I think when I found out I was about, I was one and a half, coming on to two months, so I’d eaten whatever I wanted to eat anyway by that time, so I just didn’t sort of realise. But I was careful about what I wasn’t supposed to eat, but

Well, it’s what were trained as fitness instructors for, as well, to give advice out, you know, and generally you’ve – I mean I don’t, I don’t get much with sort of like, say, the Caucasian women, English women. I don’t have the problem with them. It’s the Asian women, because part of my work is also to deliver classes and, and exercise classes to Asian women, and you generally, what I’ve found is that some of the Asian women who fell pregnant just stopped exercising. And I said, Look, you know, unless your doctor’s advised you not to exercise for any problems that might harm you and the baby, you’re actually okay to keep going. It’ll actually help, you know, in terms of getting back into shape afterwards. And even the, the delivery itself, will help, you know, in terms of having your muscles supple and strong And so I sort of kept it in mind that I would carry on exercising.

Have you enjoyed being pregnant?

I think probably my lowest point was when the pelvic thing kicked in and I, I had had visions of myself going swimming. I’d only learned to swim this year and I felt very proud of myself. And I’ve been going swimming in the local pool – theres an outdoor pool and I could go most mornings before work, and I did that for the first three or four months of pregnancy. And I felt extremely healthy and very fit, and I enjoy things like going, going walking and so on. And suddenly at about four months to realise that those sorts of things had to come to an abrupt halt did make me feel quite resentful, I think. Because I had these expectations of how I was going to manage my pregnancy, and they didn’t really come off.

At first my pregnancy was very straightforward. I was very healthy, and apart from the usual things that everybody has – morning sickness and everything – I was, I was very well. I went to my work and continued to work, and then at eighteen weeks I had a massive nosebleed, and I was in hospital for ten days, with both sides of my nose packed, which was a most unpleasant experience. And then after that I was told to, to rest, effectively, and I was signed off work, which I found very frustrating, because having worked all my days I find that incredibly frustrating. And you want to be doing things for the baby as well and doing things, getting prepared, and, and that’s very frustrating when you’ve got to limit yourself. But obviously I didn’t want to be back in hospital with that again, so – do what you’re told.

What has nosebleed got to do with pregnancy?

The nosebleeds they thought were a result of just simply the hormonal changes, and that I had a really particularly bad reaction. They could find no other reason – there was no blood pressure change or anything, and just they think that hormonal changes and the volume of blood in your body means that if theres pressure points, then these build up, and you, you get nosebleeds. And I just unfortunately had a really bad one that just wouldn’t, wouldn’t stop. And I, I lost quite a lot of blood, so had to get to hospital, so.

Okay, so you spent ten days in hospital dealing with the nosebleed. It sounds an awfully long time?

It was. It was [laughs]. It just, the nosebleeds kept happening, over and over again. Every time they packed it and every time you moved, then the nosebleeds would start again, so you were effectively just completely immobilised in your bed when that happened, so they could have a chance to heal, and the blood vessels had a chance to heal before I got home. So’

Okay, so you were signed off work?

Yes I was.

And then you had to rest a lot?

I was signed off work for the rest of my pregnancy after that eighteen weeks, that was me signed off work. And then I had to – I had to take quite a lot of rest, no heavy lifting and things like that. I could still do things around the house, and, but no heavy lifting, and obviously no decorating with nurseries and things like that. No doing these sorts of things, but, because later on they did come back, but not as bad, and they weren’t as severe after that.