(The accompanying video and audio clips are played by an actor)

There is a sexual health clinic that you can go to, where you can get your tests the same day, but I really didn’t feel comfortable going there. Lots of people sort of sitting in the waiting room, you know, they know why you’re there and everything, it just doesn’t feel right, you feel a bit dirty and stuff. So I thought it was better to go to a doctor where I could do it privately and wait for a week for the results, I think that’s the best for me and so that’s what I did.

Do you still think along the same lines now?

No. I think anyone can get Chlamydia, you don’t have to sleep around, you can just sleep with one person and get it and that’s it, which I did. But I still think that I wouldn’t go to the clinic, I’d rather go to the doctors and do it privately.

I did try to go to the hospital once where they’re a bit more discreet about, you know, how they test you and where the information goes. ‘Cos I was worried about, you know, when I go in for a job, when they do medical, you know, checks and stuff they might look at that and think, ‘Oh, well hes a risk.

Plus I heard something over, you know, the TV, in the media, through mortgage lenders and that check up on your medical history and if they think, you know, you’re a risk they don’t give you, you know… Yeah. I mean it stopped me from going to the GP for quite a while. But in the end I’ve, I finally decided, you know, to just go and get myself checked out

‘Cos I got a bit worried after reading something in one of the pamphlets that my local GP gave. I thought I might have got something, so I went and got myself checked out.

I mean it was embarrassing because, you know, to a female doctor and guys being guys, you know, we don’t talk about stuff like that, you know, you’re meant to be macho and, you know, you don’t, you know, do the boy stuff. But to actually go in to the GP and say, ‘Oh I need to be checked out for this and that’ she obviously checked me for testicular cancer as well, saying, you know, ‘Since you’re here, you might as well get it checked out. And I can truly say that was the most embarrassing experience of my entire life and I can remember it ‘cos it just felt too weird, you know.

But it was important?

Yeah, it was important and, you know, I’ve got it out of the way and I was, you know, told, ‘OK, right theres nothing there. Your call. “cool.

(The accompanying video and audio clips are played by an actor)

I made an appointment and just went in and they take swabs and I don’t remember if they peer inside but probably. And then there is the HIV one, and I can’t really remember, but I think there was a needle involved In fact, yeah I think they definitely took some blood. I can’t really remember very well, it wasn’t particularly scary. I mean you just grit your teeth and ‘

You saw a nurse at first and then she went through it with you?

Yes, she told me what they were going to look for and then they did all the tests. I can’t remember feeling worried particularly, it was fine and it didn’t even take that long.

Okay, well when I went for the Chlamydia test I was told to, I think it was a on a stick, and they just told me to go to the toilet and basically, use it as if I was using a tampon and then I think that was about it and then take it out and then I had to put it in a plastic folder and then bring it back.

It was a swab.

Yeah, a swab.

Okay.

It was very easy and that was all I had to do for that one.

And for the other two tests, for the other ones.

The other one I had someone else doing it so I had to get changed and lie on like lie on one of those beds and have my feet in the air.

For another swab.

Yeah.

That’s all they need.

Which they did. Yep, but they did everything.

Okay. That’s also for a Chlamydia test.

Yeah, that was all for the Chlamydia and everything, that was for everything.

Okay.

That was when I went and had everything checked out so it was Chlamydia and everything else and then that’s, I also had my blood tested as well.

When you say everything, what do you what do you mean by everything? I mean you had chlamydia, gonorrhoea, AIDS, all of those things.

Syphilis, yeah.

Syphilis. Okay.

And then also when you have someone else have someone else doing it, I also think they sort of check down there and they have a feel to make sure everything feels okay as well, which I, I think is probably quite a good idea probably better than you doing it yourself because they have an idea of what they’re looking for and what they’re feeling for.

I did experience before Christmas some problems with stomach pain and erratic bleeding and I went back to the clinic and explained this to them and they said have I got a new partner? And I was like, well no I’ve been with my fiance for about a year so they were quite happy and ‘

So when I was having a few problems I got quite concerned and it upset my partner as well because he was seeing that I was getting concerned and worried. And it was effecting our sexual relationship because I was experiencing pain during intercourse so it wasn’t pleasant.

So I went back and saw one of the nurses. I had some tests done for Syphilis, Chlamydia and a general smear test as well just to check and get everything checked to make sure I didn’t have a sexual transmitted disease, which was quite scary. I had the tests done, my fiance was outside in the car, got in the car, I was quite upset, I explained to him that because of the symptoms that I was having that they presumed that it was very possible that I did have an infection.

So I talked to him about it, he was a bit shocked and he said ‘well theres nothing wrong with me and I said ‘well I might have something wrong with me and I’m going to have to wait for the test results to come back and maybe it’s a good idea if you go and get some tests done as well. So he went the next day to a sexual health clinic and had the same tests done as me, which wasn’t very pleasant for him. But it was hard; it needed to be done because then we both were in the same situation of have I got something? Has he got something?

We sat down a couple of days later because the subject kept on coming up and we were having arguments and he was saying that I’d been unfaithful and I’ve given him something and it’s not from him so it was obvious that it was me. We had arguments about all sorts. We also, we sat down and we said this is silly, we need to talk to about this properly and we asked each other about how many sexual partners we have had and what methods of protection had we used.

And I explained to him that I had so many sexual partners and I’ve always been on the Pill or on the injection. But on top of that I’ve always used condoms as another form of protection to look out for myself because I’ve always been quite clued up on sexual diseases and how they are transmitted so I’ve always been very, very careful.

When I spoke to my partner he had less sexual partners than me but he hadn’t been as careful as I had. So he then realised that it could also be him that’s giving me something. So we kind of both felt guilty and I was blaming him and he was blaming me. It was very difficult but it helped talking to him. I couldn’t have not told him that it is possible that I had an STD because being in a relationship it wouldn’t have been fair if I’d been carrying something and given it to him. And he would have been none the wiser. So we got everything sorted out, I got my results back.

It didn’t take too long, it wasn’t too long. I waited 10 days for one set of results to come back and they came back clear. So I phoned him at work and told him. And it was a great relief because we kind of presumed that if mine came back clear for Syphilis and Chlamydia then his should be clear as well. He got his results back a couple of days after mine and his were clear. And then I got my smear test through 2 weeks before Christmas and that was clear as well.

But it was a great weight off our minds but we still should have, I feel we still should have discussed that in the begin

When I fell pregnant with [daughter], well just before I fell pregnant, yeah I only slept with him once and I fell pregnant, I fell pregnant with [daughter] and he give me an STD which was PID and then it turned into Chlamydia and I told him about it and I said look you need to get checked out, and then at that point we didn’t know I was pregnant and I slept with him again, I slept with him twice, the once and then the time after.

The first time was when I conceived the second time was when he told me he had got cleaned up and I got it again and I was pregnant with [daughter] and I caught it again and when I found out I was pregnant I had to go to the clinic and they told me I had Chlamydia again and that my tubes were damaged and my chances of conceiving were 20% after.

I’ve been with him, it will be going on two years, in April. So I thought only out of respect I should tell him.
Do you feel you have to wear a condom?
Oh, I always do. I always do, yeah. I’m ‘safe sex anyway. Even though I’ve been with him for years, it’s just something I do.
Mm. So that minimises the risk?
Yeah, because they say about shedding, but I also read, in the organisation that after about three or four years the risks of passing it on without any symptoms is very, very low. And well I’ve had it for four years or so now.

When we come back off holiday I went straight to the clinic, and they done the tests and I got the results that it was that’ They looked and said, “Yeah, it looks like it more than possibly could be that”, but they needed to do a swab first.

And the day I came back – the next day I went straight to the and good thing that I did because they wouldn’t have been able to do the test if I didn’t go straight away when the blister’s still there. And I went straight and they saw it; they took the swab which was – that was painful as well. And then they invited me back to collect the results.

So I came back, I think a week later, for my results and then they said that it was genital herpes. If I want to go and see the health adviser, which I’d done, but it’s so long ago I really can’t remember what he said on anything. But I don’t think I paid too much attention to any of it. I kind of went, “Oh, okay”, and put it to the back of my mind and then that was it. And then four years later I suppose I’m ready to talk about it now. Because I was so young I think I kind of just pushed it to the back of my mind and I didn’t, I didn’t think or worry about it. Because when you are younger it is easier to, to just block it out…
So did they say it was herpes type one or two, did they say?
Well type two because it- it would only have been type two, because the person who gave it to me, he never ever gave me oral sex. It was always straightforward sex, and he never had any symptoms.