My memory. Was absolutely, I’ve always had a good memory. I’ve been able to remember phone numbers, names, addresses, all kinds of, just the information of daily life. And I couldn’t remember words. I couldn’t remember where I was supposed to be. I had to start writing everything down. I thought it was stress. I thought it was because of losing mum and dad and that, that it would come back.

And in fact it has come back a bit better but that’s mainly because I’ve been studying so I’ve been making myself remember stuff because I’ve been having to take three hour exams and things. Really had to concentrate. And now I’m approaching 60 and it is better but I said to my husband the other day, I’m really worried about the fact that I start a sentence and I can’t remember what I was going to say And that I find really quite worrying and whether that is a hormonal thing or whether that is a result of coming off the HRT I really don’t know or whether it’s the beginning of something to do with getting much older. I don’t know.

I think the biggest problem of all through the menopause was lack of sleep. A combination of night sweats, my own particular emotional turmoils but I was very badly lacking sleep. For quite a long time. One of my friends said, Now you know what it’s like having a new baby in the house That’s what it really was. For about eight years I suppose I didn’t have an uninterrupted night’s sleep. And funnily enough it started again after I had those big operations, and I don’t know if it’s the anaesthetic but actually I don’t sleep at the moment as well as I would like. My definition of a good night’s sleep is nine hours unconscious.

And the NHS is not structurally, it’s not possible under the NHS to get the right information to everybody when they need it. it’s just logistically almost impossible. I think the one place where it would be really, really useful to get the information would be from a pharmacist. I think pharmacists are a very underused resource. They have a vested interest in making sure that their customers have the information that they want, they get the drugs that they want. they’re a very accessible place to go because if you go into the surgery you’re going to run into various neighbours because you live in a small community and people are going to see you and they’re going to say, Oh, she’s in the surgery. I hope she’s all right. I wonder what she’s in for Go into Boots. You’re going to buy a shampoo, you’re going to buy foundation and you’re going to go and talk to somebody about menopause. it’s just a more accessible resource. I’ve thought for ages actually that pharmacists are very well trained, very highly trained. And I would like there to be more. Even little consultation rooms, little cupboards where you could go and just say, I’ve been on this HRT for about three years. I really don’t think it quite suits me. Is there something else I could get I’m not suggesting they take over from doctors but they could say, Yes, there’s this kind and these side effects and those side effects and those side side effects. Have a look through that and then go and see your GP and he might be able to prescribe something else It takes less time from the GP and makes it easier for the person too.

I was married again when I was 33 and endometriosis was diagnosed fairly soon after that and it is thought the D & C* was a contributory factor to the endometriosis. I then had four years treatment with drugs to try to solve the endometriosis. It didn’t work. I didn’t get pregnant and the cysts were spreading all through my insides and so when I was 37 I had a hysterectomy. One ovary was taken out, one was left behind.

I was not properly counselled about the effects of the hysterectomy and being childless as well, none of that was dealt with. It was all done in Hong Kong, where it was very mechanical. There was no emotional input to it all. So I kind of went into the menopause in a very raw state, raw vulnerable kind of state. It was not explained to me, they said, Oh, you’re all right. You don’t need HRT, you’ve got an ovary. They didn’t point out or tell me that after five years the ovary would stop working therefore I would go effectively straight into the menopause with no kind of warning because I had no periods so I had no other physical warnings.
(* D&C = dilation & curettage scraping of the lining of the womb)

Yes, I think there was a combination of factors but certainly extreme discomfort and vaginal dryness was a big factor. Because I’d been taken off the HRT because of the oestrogen problem. I went to see another GP, a very nice lady GP in the surgery and asked her what I could do and she got permission from my surgeon to prescribe oestrogen cream. Which I used for about three months and I think it possibly had some effect but when I went to get a repeat prescription they wouldn’t let me have it. So I don’t know whether their thinking had changed. So I had about three months of it but, the problem being solved, the skin had got so much thinner that it was tearing and it was very, very uncomfortable. My husband is extremely considerate and gentle but it did make it very, very difficult.

In the last three or four years the vaginal skin has got very, very thin. It tears very easily now, I bleed very easily. Which is disconcerting in the extreme. And puts you off the fun.