I would say it was more to do with the stress of the job. The travelling because I was travelling, as I said, an hour and a half each way, an hour and a half, you know, 3 hours a day, basically. And that was when everything was running all right. I don’t know if you know what the trains is like? [laughing]

Sometimes it was 6 hours or maybe more, sometimes. And one of my biggest problems was I wouldn’t take time off. Even when I wasn’t feeling well, I wouldn’t take time off. I should have realised anyway because I think about a month before I actually retired I actually collapsed on the train. And of course, I just thought it was one of them things, you know what I mean? I didn’t realise [laughing].

But I think it was more to do with the actual stress of the job, the travelling and that sort of thing. And I’d had angina for a long time, but even because I had angina I never put the two and two together to say heart attack. Which is obvious [laughing] but then, of course, I’d had angina that long that I didn’t, you know, it was just one of them things I had to take tablets for.

When you’re in hospital, you’re in the situation where you don’t get a lot of sleep anyway. And I thought, well once I get home, you know, I’ll get in my own bed and all the rest of it, I’ll be all right. That’s all right but, as I said, you get these little niggly things that goes on and if you have a tendency to feel more, you’re feeling what’s going on in your body whereas before you may not have felt them, not noticed them as much even.

So, when I had the stents put in, I don’t know whether it was like the stents settling in but I used to get these little itchy, as though you wanted to scratch inside. I know it’s avery funny, funny feeling. It wasn’t funny at the time like, I mean, and, I would wake up suddenly through the night feeling there was like a pressure, pressure on my chest.

When you get the panic attacks, I mean there was quite a few times I actually woke the wife up at 2 or 3 o’clock in the morning because, and it was something she couldn’t, a lot of people couldn’t understand, I suppose. Feeling lonely,I think it was basically because of the things that was going on in your mind, more than anything.

I mean there could be a house, I mean I was upstairs quite a few times and there, I knew there was a, you know, my son and his missus and my missus and other people down here, but still you felt lonely. It’s, it’s hard to explain.

Yeah, it was, it, it’s a very peculiar sense, sensation. There was many a time, as I said, we had a housefull, we had a house full of people and my son and his missus and my missus and the dog and all the rest of the people. You knew they were downstairs but you get this fear that you had to be amongst people.

And many time I’ve actually come down and just sat in the chair and, of course, I could feel other people sort of, I could feel them looking at us and they were wondering, you know, what’s, what’s wrong like, you know? But I, I couldn’t tell people what was wrong basically because I didn’t know myself. I just couldn’t put my finger on what was making us feel that way.

But there was nothing there that told you, well, there might be times that you will feel this or you might, even after you’ve had the stents put in, you would feel little twinges and all this sort of thing.

But there was nothing so therefore, you’re lying there or you’re, even when I was at home and, as I say, getting these panic attacks, you’re actually lying there and you didn’t know whether this was what should be happening or, you know. And that’s why the panic attacks get worse really.

And that’s where it’s wrong I think because I think it would help a lot of people to get better quicker if they were given the right information in the first place. Not only that, it would also help the families because if your families are happier about what’s going on, you’ll be happier about what’s going on.