It’s difficult when you’re younger I think. Cos when you’re like, when you’re at school or when you’re starting uni, you’ve got so many other things that are on your mind that you’re worried about. Like it’s such a stressful time. I found it really stressful. Even if you’re like having the best time of your life in like sixth form or, or at school or at uni. But you’ve so many thing, like there’s so many things to worry about, and stresses and exams and so many pressures on your life, that it becomes just like another thing that you’ve got to deal with. And it’s so like depressing. And you’re just like I can’t believe I have this. And I just wanna be like everyone else.

A lot of em straight away from mentioning stuff for like theI don’t know whatif it’s deliberately or unintentionally, but none of them mention the sort of social implications that eczema would have, and I would be more happy if they did cos one of my first experiences after having really bad eczema I was in school for first day, and I remember this girl making a really bad comment towards me, cos back then I still used to wear t-shirts and cargo pants, walking around as I normally did before I had eczema. And those comments sort of caused me to be the sort of self-covered self I am, so I always now wear long trousers, long sleeved tops and It r-really would have helped if a doctor would have said, “Look, if, if you did go back to school in this state, you may get a few comments or something like that; just be wary,” and stuff like that. It would’ve helped, but I got no warning and there’s sort of, not bullying, but sort of nit-picking, almost sort of alienating feeling that of some of the comments people made after seeing my condition was really, really hurtful when I wasespecially when I was young, it was really hurtful during that time yeah.

You get like the younger groups that would like probably just say, would probably look at you and you know, whisper to their friends or I don’t know say eee’ or something like that, I know that they don’t know what I’ve got but it kind of makes me feel like if they’re seeing it like that what are other people seeing, if that makes sense so I would force myself to cover up, force myself to put more moisturiser I guess just to make sure that my skin is better. And like but sometimes again like when people don’t understand when you put the creams they’ll say stuff like oh he’s got cream on his face, shiny face or whatnot you know what I mean, so yeh. But obviously those people don’t understand what I was going through.

Does eczema ever affect your studies at all?

Yeah, sometimes I can’t write. But usually I do a lot of typing on the laptop anyway so that hasn’t really had a problem. And I always , because I’ve got, I’m classed as having a disability through the college, they have told the exam schools and stuff, so they always email me saying, Do you need compensation for your exams, like for writing and stuff? And obviously it’s like a good few months in advance so I’m never going to be able to tell cos it’s so, you know, variable eczema, it’s not like a long term thing that just, it’s, for me, it’s not a complete flare-up for months and months on end, it just changes day-to-day. So, you can never really say in advance, but it’s nice to have the option there for them, you know to give me like, Do you want extended time; do you want to write on a laptop? that kind of thing.

So is that something that you, unless you were nearer the time you wouldn’t be able to tell them whether you do need a certain-?

Yeah basically cos they want to know like a month or two months-, which is fair enough because, you know, they need to set things out. But to be honest like I’d have to tell them maybe the day before like, and that’s not really workable so yeah.

It’s just a room basically and like it’s got frosted windows so obviously no one will be able to see. And like it’s, in our school it’s a place called the Student Services so you just go to there and get and they would keep all your creams and like the big tubs but I would carry my own well now I carry like my little tub because I can’t be bothered sometimes to go all the way down to that place and then go back to lessons so I just used my cream and top it up when I need to in lessons, because I only do it less anyway now, so yeh. But yeh that room I’ll just go into that room and just apply my creams I guess there and then give the creams or medications back to the person at Student Services.

They’ve provided me with extra resources; teachers who are aware of my situation who’ve actually been more sympathetic in previous years, who understand what I’m going through, would usually put aside some work for me. In days where they know I’m off ill, more than usual, they’d put aside a few bits of work or they’d go out of their own way, probably stay a, another hour or so after their work time ends just to explain something to me make sure I understand it, and I find that really helpful and I really appreciate it because understandably some days I can’t attend school. I find it really difficult, and knowing that there’s a teacher or someone there who’s willing to go out their way to help me get through this, get through my studies it’s a really good feeling to know that.

I was worried about not being able to see my doctor because I didn’t know whether I could sign up to a doctors here. I didn’t really know much about it. But obviously there’s a medical centre, which is a part of the university. I was worried about getting prescriptions and seeing a dermatologist. But they’ve referred, like the nurse here has referred me to a dermatologist closer. So I’m going to see what this ones like, third time lucky.

Yeah.

Yeah it’s just I was worried about not getting the same support here that I got at home. But in a way, I get more support here, because there’s a bigger variety of people and a lot more people’ve got eczema than I actually thought, because at school, it seemed like it was just me and one other girl. And we didn’t really talk that much so it’s not like I could talk to her about it.

Have any of your doctors whether it’s GPs or dermatologist ever talked to you about sort of the emotional and psychological impact eczema could have?

As I was growing up, not too much. In university and stuff like that, yes, a lot more, because you’re at a bit more of a fragile time I think. Cos you, you move away from your parents and you don’t you have that, you don’t have that same support network that you would at home. So, they’ve only talked about the times where I’ve gone in at a flare up stage in the middle of exams thinking, oh god, you know, this is just the worst thing ever. And, yeah, having that kind of calming down moment where y’know, they say it’s not really the end of the world, even if you fail your exams, what was more important is, is your own health. And so that kind of puts it in perspective and I wouldn’t necessarily say that doctors speak or think about that as much as they could do.