I think let your family spoil you. You know when somebody’s feeling vulnerable like that don’t, I think it’s important not to sort of feel guilty about the fuss that’s being made. I think if you can have a loving family who want to sort of be there for you and help you to cope with it I think that’s very important. I’d say don’t try, try to be too brave about it, just go with the flow of what your body is going through. Enjoy being spoilt if you’ve got the luxury of it. And sort of possibly, it seems a stupid thing to say enjoy it but theres so many good things can come out of being ill. Explore them and just see what other things life can offer you through it.

For me to talk to somebody or some people, whether its one or two friends, or a group of friends, I think you really need that support. I don’t think you should try and cope with it on your own. I would definitely, definitely say that because I got an awful lot from my friends. Probably more than my family in a way because I protected my family and probably didn’t tell them everything, whereas your friends you definitely do share a lot more. So I’d definitely say talk. Be positive because even though the diagnosis may be bad it doesn’t always mean what it means in the beginning. It can work out to be a lot, a lot more positive than you think.

You have got to try and be positive; I mean I wasn’t at all. And I don’t know how to tell people to be positive other than to try and believe what they’re told. I constantly felt that they were hiding something from me. I was convinced that I was riddled with cancer and they weren’t telling me because they didn’t think I had long to live. I might as well be ignorant and make the most of it. Eighteen months later I know that’s not true. I don’t have cancer in my body and I haven’t had it for eighteen months but I’ve wasted a lot of time being scared to death about it.

But I advise anyone that gets into a mess like I did with it, to have people around and to see if you can get someone to stay with you in hospital. Just don’t, don’t be alone, that is the worst. Because often what goes on in your head, its ten times worse than what is actually going on in your body. There are still too many negative things about cancer and no one ever talks about the up sides, the people who do get better. The mythology’s still there and if you are one of the people that’s gone along believing it like I was, you’ve got to surround yourself with a lot of people who have come out the other side of it.

I suppose you know if a woman is looking at this site because shes just been told shes got cervical cancer what I would say to them is it’s definitely not a death sentence you know if they’ve caught it now and you know you’re going to go in for the treatment and everything then the chances are that in a years time you’ll feel exactly the same way as I do now, that you know it was something that happened, it was a part of your life but it’s not, it’s over, it’s done with and get on with the rest of your life.

But its like when somebody dies, it gets better. And I hardly, I think about it a little now but hardly at all really. Its not, you do get a balance and things get better with time but don’t expect within a year that your, everythings going to be fine and you’re going to be positive. I think everybody’s different and you mustn’t expect yourself to too quickly to get back to normal. And you may do a few extreme things but you’ll get back to your balance and your routine.

And don’t be afraid to ask questions. It’s your body at the end of the day, ask questions. If you don’t understand what’s being said to you ask what that means. I would always advise women to take somebody with them, whether it be their partner, a friend, somebody to go along with them who can also listen to get another viewpoint. Because once, if you go into a state of shock or whatever, you don’t hear what’s being said. It goes straight over your head and in my case I just picked out the worst bits. I’d didn’t hear the fact that I could be treated and so on, and what was going to happen, I didn’t hear any of that. So another viewpoint is very useful. Write questions down. If something occurs to you write it down and when you go to see your consultant ask the questions.

And if you don’t feel comfortable with some of the things they’re telling you, with some of the treatments that are being offered ask why they feel that is the appropriate treatment. Are there any alternatives to that treatment? What will happen if you don’t have that treatment? Many women just take a doctor’s or a consultant’s word as being that’s, just accept it. I’ve learnt along the way that you don’t have to just accept it, they’re human. I know that I accepted my locum’s word that I was going through an early menopause. And if I’d perhaps not been as na’ve and more informed at the time I might have been more able to say “Are you sure, are you sure that perhaps I didn’t ought to be referred to the hospital?” But at the time I didn’t know and at the time I did not feel able to question a doctor. But don’t be afraid to ask questions. They do know more about the body’s working than the average person but at the end of the day if something is not right for you personally, if it’s not normal for you personally, then this is what the doctors and the medical profession are there for, to investigate abnormalities in your normal self.

It’s hard to say ‘don’t worry’ because you will worry you know it’s a major operation and even when you go down you don’t know if they’re going to be able to do it or not, you could still be terminal and I know how that feels. I’ve been there. But if the exenteration is successful you can still live a full life, you can be normal. Recovering isn’t easy, it’s hard work and you do go through a real rough time but it’s certainly worth it because it gives you your life. And it does cure you.

I think the earlier that you can catch it obviously the better and so if you have any worries and your doctor says ‘Oh no, you know, you’re basically a hypochondriac, don’t be so silly,’ then I think, I suppose I wish I had been much stronger in my own mind and thought, OK I don’t like what you’re telling me I shall go somewhere else. Instead I just thought well that’s the doctor and they’re telling me so I must listen to them because they must be right, which I’m sure in general they are. Well if you still feel that it isn’t right then maybe you should look elsewhere or get somebody else to check you out, just not put up with so much of being told everythings fine.