And just as soon as you find anything that worries you, go to the doctor. It’s not just a lump. It can be a skin change.

A lot of women don’t realise if they get puckering of the skin, or problems with nipples, that they should go and get them looked at.

Because there are other ways of presenting itself other than an obvious lump. Not to be too afraid. Particularly if you know you’ve only got a small lump.

Even a big lump in the long term can do very well, as it were, the patient can do very well.

But I do think whatever your situation, and whatever you are told, even if you’ve got lymph node involvement, people still do very well. Things are improving all the time.

Stay calm. Be as positive as you possibly can. Go into interviews with written questions if necessary. Think about it hard before you go into your first interview after the staging.

I’m only saying this in retrospect because I wish I had done that because I probably, if I’d sat down and thought about it, I might’ve had more questions. I mean I did have some.

And every time you go to see anybody, whether it’s an oncologist or a surgeon, if theres anything at all, ask your question. Don’t be fudged, don’t be put off, ask your question. And if you don’t understand the answer, ask again until you hear what you want to hear or hear what you understand.

Because if you want to know about it, the only way to do it is to ask.

Ask your questions. When you go for your check ups, always have somebody with you, whether it would be a parent, your partner, your best mate. And the reason I say that is because when you go for those check-ups, you don’t actually hear everything that’s being said to you. You’ll only hear what you want to hear.

And before you go write all your questions down. And I used to have quite a lot of questions and, quite often by the time I’d gone in, the consultants are very good because obviously they’re very knowledgeable and very skilled. And the way they talk to you, they’re answering all your questions. But there might be just that one that you need an answer to. And for me is to have that person with you to make sure those questions get answered.

And also don’t feel as though you’re being hurried. We’re all a patient. And yes, appointments are very tight. And don’t feel as though you’re being a nuisance either. Because I remember, because I was only 37 and when I was on my ward I was, the hospital I was in is no longer there, they’ve pulled it down and there’s a brand new hospital now. And I was on a ward of about 20 other ladies who had all different conditions. It wasn’t just cancer. And some of those ladies were very, very elderly. And I was thankfully was put down one end of the ward. And I felt all those other people needed more care than I did. And when I look back I think I was still the patient as well.

So don’t be frightened to ask, they’re there to care for you. Write your questions down. Take somebody with you because there is sometimes a lot of information that you, at the time, you walk away and think, Oh don’t know what they said, what do they mean by it And then when you come away, if you’ve got any uncertainties, ring the breast care nurse. Because that’s what they’re there for. They are there to support you. don’t be frightened to ring them.

And I found with mine, which was something I found, that I had to go for a mammogram on my other boob. First of all I was going yearly for the first five years. And now I go every two years. And I seemed to be always waiting for results, but I felt oh I don’t want to be a nuisance and phone up. And I’ve since found out, my breast care nurse, she said, If you just give me a ring she said, I can actually look up the details and tell you if you’ve got any, if there’s anything you know you need to know. And I can get hold of the consultant to chase things up for you So they’re there, you know, so.

And finally I think use people, not use, but if you’ve got other ladies around you of the same age, get to know them and share your thoughts. Because that’s what I did and we’ve had some great laughs. We have some great times out. We take the mickey out of each other and that’s what it’s about. You know, we can look back, and yes it was extremely serious, but now when we meet up we hardly talk about it.

The only thing I always do say to people when we see them’ “Never take notice of what one person’s having, in chemotherapy, radiotherapy, tamoxifen or whatever.”

It’s purely because you either don’t need it, and the consultants don’t think it’s necessary for you.

Well, as to advice, I would say don’t bottle up your concerns. Talk about them. Get it out in the open, you’ll feel better for it.

Because if you talk about it, it’s not going to go away but at least you’ll have some idea of what’s going on and you’ll have some idea of what you’re going to have to cope with. And it’ll give you a better chance to cope with it.

Because it’s a fact, it’s the not knowing, it’s the unknown that is the worry.

And I think that’s when it’s good to see people who are a long way on because you think to yourself “Well if they can do it, so can I.”

Well the thing is, if you find out you’ve got cancer you’ve got to be positive. You’ve got to try and beat it because I think you are bigger than the cancer, so you’ve got to beat it. And you’ve got to be determined to make sure it doesn’t get the better of you.

So you get up every day, thank God you are living, and try to do what you have to do.

You do not sit down and think’ “Well I’m going to get better,” because you will get better, but if you sit down you’re going to feel lazy, and you’re going to start getting, you know, careless.

But if you are up, you’re about, at least you are active. You know, you are positive. Very positive you’ve got to be. And you’ve got to do what you know you’re supposed to do’ eat the right food, do the right things, get your exercises. You can’t go to the gym but you can still go for a walk, walk round the block and come back.

But you’ve got to be very positive about it.