You know, sort of, I think the hardest time and it’s probably the same for most mothers as well, is sort of returning to work. I think that’s when I really started to feel, you know, the stress of it all. And you know, we don’t talk about it much now, but probably for the first three or four years it cropped up in conversations. I think that’s good and healthy that it’s not been forgotten. From my point of view, having more children, you know, and I always thought that will be fine. You know and it is fine, you get to milestones I suppose when they go to school and you think ooh may be another one, but I think the health care professionals because they made it so clear at the start you know, I’d rather be here than, you know, as my husband put it, dead with a womb [laughs]. I’d rather be alive without one. So, you know, I do look on it as being very fortunate really. So yes, I know, it’s funny talking about it again after such a long time.
And does the hysterectomy bother you still?
Like I said, I think because it was so clear at the start. So clear. I mean you couldn’t have made it any blunter. I feel you know, there are advantages and disadvantages to it. You know, I personally would have liked a bigger family. But then you look at our lifestyle now, and what we’ve done is we’ve obviously, you know, we knew, we know that we can’t have any more children. But I think in some ways that has shaped where we are now, six years, down, seven years down the line. You know, I’ve gone on to study, which I probably wouldn’t have done, until I thought I’d finished (having) my family. So that you know, that wouldn’t have happened yet for example.
I think from my, from [husband]’s point of view, I think he’s quite happy, because you know, we’ve got ourselves sorted now. The other side of it, and again, we have discussed this before in terms of, you know, if I didn’t have the hysterectomy, say the bracing of the womb all worked, that the womb was fine. We could have another child. The fear of then going through this potentially again. Even though they say that chances of getting it again are reasonably rare apparently. That’s what the consultant told me. I just don’t think emotionally I could have done that. Because not only is it my partner whose then potentially at risk of losing a wife, you know, I’ve got an older child.
So when I look at it that, I sort of almost am thankful that I had the hysterectomy because I’d rather than, because then, you know, the other option would be, you know, if we did get pregnant, would we carry on, or would we have to think about a termination and I just wouldn’t be able to do that. So in some ways there is the silver lining. We don’t have to worry about that, because you know, I’m not going to get pregnant. So we don’t have to come across that, that sort of bridge really. So we were very thankful.
But it’s fine. You know, the family understood, because I did make the time to explain it to them, especially to my Mother, who I think that at the time I was cheated or you know, why did this have to happen? But when I explained it to her she obviously totally understands and is just glad that I’m okay and she obviously saw me in that conditions afterwards. So she wouldn’t to go through that again either.
So on that side again just being very positive about it, and I think we both were day, well from the moment I signed the consent form to be perfectly honest yes, and very lucky because I’ve got nieces and you know, other children around me.
But yes, I can imagine for s