So you were telling me about going over to see her in the Intensive Care.
Yes, so I walked in, and there was a young nurse and she was playing around with [wife]’s hand. All I saw was tubes out of [wife] and, and I was trying to understand what was going on, and they were taking her rings off her fingers. Or trying to. I was trying not to be hurt about it. Because nobody explained why they were taking the rings off. And I was thinking, is this it? What’s going on?
And then some head of turned up and there was a bed and I was standing on one side and they were like surrounded on the other side. And they said, “Oh have you got any questions?” And then I just stood there, and I was saying to them, “What went on? What, what brought us to this?” And they’re saying, “Oh it’s only a little problem. It was only this. It was only that.” And I’m, do you know, when they’re talking and you’re not hearing, because I was trying to stop myself thinking bad things and trying to listen what they were saying. I just couldn’t understand what they were saying to me, and I remember they spoke for about two minutes each, and then said, “Oh if you’ve got any other questions, just ask for us.”
And then they, they went off. I just stood there. I just, I honest to God couldn’t understand how we got from a joyful experience, having children, being induced, I don’t know if that’s enjoyable for [wife], but, for me, it’s sort of bringing new life in the world. It was a thing to be, you know, in amazement to, and this sounds awful, but I don’t care about the children, what about my wife? You know. You know.
And all going through my mind was how am I going to cope without [wife]? Because I actually thought she was dead. And they were, you know, just holding her on a life support machine until such time. Because nobody turned round and said, “Oh she’ll be okay shortly or…” And you know, and… I just stood there, probably for about an hour. Just stroking her hands.
And then a nice nurse came in and said, “I think it would be nice to take some pictures of the babies. We’ll put them around her bed. So you know, I’ll print them off and I’ll put them round the bed. With your permission. Would you like to come and see your children, and take some pictures.” I went, “Yes. Yes. I think so.”
So we took some pictures and put them on the bed, at the end of her bed so when she, when she woke up, she’d see them. And of course I thought they were just doing for, you know, some other reason. And I can’t even remember what the reason was, because for me [wife] was in major trouble. You know, it’s awful.